Waiting for baby

Here it is, the day we've been anticipating for over nine months - our baby's due date! And surprise, surprise, we have no baby yet.

You may recall that Liam was born 11 days late. It seems that wasn't an isolated incident. I must be good at incubating babies.

Since I had a C-section the first time around, I could have opted for another one and this waiting would have been over a week ago. But I am stubbornly trying for a VBAC, which means now I have to go through the exhausting every-day-feels-like-a-year-post-due-date wait. And I'm really risking a Christmas baby or at least a hospital stay over Christmas.

What can I say, I take my chances (I'm a big dummy!??!).

The longer I keep this baby in, the bigger he gets and the more likely it is that labor will go the same way - baby is too big, not progressing, C-section. So it really is a little ridiculous that I didn't just opt for a planned birth. But I didn't enjoy the recovery last time, and I don't like the thought of being cut open again. And so, we wait.

Meanwhile, to answer the question I am getting a lot lately, I guess I'm ready as I will ever be. I have the clothes, the changing table, the co-sleeper, the diaper bag, the car seat. Everything is in it's place and ready to welcome the new addition. But the experience of being pregnant has nothing to do with the experience of being a parent. How can I possibly be ready?

I still think of Liam as my baby and have a hard time visualizing life with two kids. When I look back on this video of Liam I am shocked that this is the same child that lives in my house and runs and talks and feeds himself. And I am reminded that having a newborn is so different from having a toddler. I've basically forgotten everything about that stage and feel like I'll have to learn what to do all over again.

It is surreal, anticipating the huge change that is about to happen in our lives. When I think about how precious and fragile a newborn is, I get excited. When I think about how often they wake up at night and cry for unknown reasons, I get nervous. When I think about the torture of labor, well, I just hope that epidural is as good as they say. When I don't think about it, I forget that I'm pregnant at all.

I've been off of work for three weeks now. It feels so indulgent - I could have worked longer. There was no medical reason to leave when I did. But it has been a nice break.

And now our house is full of family - C.J.'s brother, his wife, their three kids and C.J.'s sister are all staying with us for the holidays. It sounds a little hectic, but it's fun having family here and it is a great distraction from the waiting game.


They will take care of Liam while I'm in the hospital, and Liam is having the time of his life playing with his cousins. Now I am just hoping we can enjoy Christmas together before we welcome our little one. I've waited this long, can I make it four more days?

Leaves

A last word on fall 2011 - one little boy loved the leaves this year. Better than any toy, he spent hours over the course of a few weeks picking up leaves, throwing leaves and/or jumping in piles of leaves in the park, in our yard or on walks around the neighborhood.

Big help with the raking too. Here are a some fun shots of an afternoon in the backyard a few weeks ago.

Fearless leaf diving

I could do this all day!

Nana, let me show you.

What do you mean this isn't a rake?

 No really, this is the funnest thing ever.

It's contagious - even Mommy wants to jump in.

That enormous pile of leaves finally made it to the curb (enter Daddy, exit Liam) where the monster leaf-collecting machine came by and scooped them all up. Now the trees are bare and the temperature is dropping. Goodbye fall. Until next year!

Bronx zoo

Fall is one of the best things about living in the Northeast. And this November was the sixth warmest on record, for which, I am of course grateful. The leaves weren't quite as brilliant or lasting this year, but we did enjoy some gorgeous foliage for a short time.

We had a great trip to the Bronx Zoo a few weeks ago to soak up the colors and enjoy the mild weather. I am a sucker for seeing all the animals, and it's even more fun to see them through Liam's eyes. The zoo is in a beautiful park-like setting and features some great exhibits including lions, tigers, bears and gorillas.

 Liam and Daddy watching the giraffe

The gorilla encounter - worth the extra few dollars admission!

Brilliant colors

Regal lions

Strolling along

 

Fun family outing

Love the colors

A perfect day for this little guy

Soon to be four!