Holidays, English biscuits and sailing

Thanksgiving has come and gone here on the island. Since it is not a holiday here everything went on as normal. I ran some errands and did some grocery shopping and C.J. studied. In a shoddy and desperate attempt at a Thanksgiving meal I made pork chops with Stove Top Stuffing.

I remember why we never eat Stove Top Stuffing. Because that is some terrible stuff. Just add hot water and let sit for five minutes?? What is that? Astronaut food? It paled in comparison to my mother's homemade cornbread stuffing with sausage. But C.J. actually loves the stuff, so I let him eat most of it.

Friday night I had a potluck with my SO friends and that was much better. Every key Thanksgiving dish was represented including turkey, homemade stuffing, green bean casserole, broccoli rice casserole, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, croissant roles, cream corn, deviled eggs and pumpkin pie. So that made up for Thursday's meal and it was just as good as anything we would get at home.

It was our first Thanksgiving away from our families but it wasn't so bad. Since the weather here is so warm it is hard to really be in the spirit anyway.

Now that Thanksgiving is over, it means we are that much closer to Christmas. We are actually leaving in two weeks from tomorrow. It is going to go by so fast. For me, anyway. For C.J., the next two weeks will seem like an eternity as he studies non-stop for his finals. He has put himself on an Internet moratorium - no Facebook, e-mail, sports, NY Times, nothing - until finals are over. So if you aren't hearing from him, that's why.

Speaking of Christmas, it is big in Grenada. The mall is decorated and everyone is playing Christmas music. There are a lot of Reggae/Caribbean Christmas songs here which is kind of fun. I also hear Dolly Parton Christmas music a lot here which is strange but good for me since I love Dolly.

This year, as in years past, we will not be buying any Christmas gifts for each other or any family. We don't have the money and we don't enjoy the stress and commercialism of selecting gifts for an endless list of loved ones. Once you start, where do you stop?

Omitting gift giving from Christmas has been one of the best things we've ever done. It allows us to focus on all the truly great things about Christmas - friends, family, faith and food (not necessarily in that order). So, a quick note here to remind everyone, please don't get us any Christmas gifts. Our time together is enough and will be the best gift of all for us this year.

Moving on from holiday talk, I've got two new goals for my life here on the island. These goals have just formulated in the last week so I have to tell you about them. First, although the grocery store frequently is out of essentials like milk, cheese, eggs and juice, there is always an assortment of English cookies here.

In the beginning, I didn't even notice all the different cookies. My eyes just glazed over when looking at these unfamiliar boxes on the chip/cookie/cracker isle. Then I met a British couple who just moved here via the US. They said they were actually happy about the grocery selection here - they can get many more British products here than they could get in America.

So I started paying a little closer attention and noticed there are literally dozens of types of British cookies (also called biscuits) at IGA. And most of them are actually cheaper than the American brands. And so I formulated my first goal for the remainder of my stay here - I must try every type of British cookie/biscuit at the grocery store. It fits in nicely with my food obsession and greatly increases the variety of sweet treats we can have at home. So every week I buy a new package or two.

Here's a shot of all the British cookies in the store and you can see they aren't even all in stock here.



Here's the two I got this week. Jaffa Cakes - "soft sponge cakes with a tangy orange filling half coated in plain chocolate" - and Country Snapjacks - "for those classic biscuit moments." Sounds yummy, right?


One great thing about British cookies is that I can't read the nutrition label very well. For example, the Jaffa Cakes have 182 Kj of energy. What on earth does that mean? With this kind of label it's easy for me to pretend these are better for me than say, Oreos.

And a lot of these cookies taste really great. We've had some good ginger snaps and jam filled biscuits and short breads. C.J. is humoring me and happily eats whatever I bring home. Although, regarding the Country Snapjacks he did say they would be considered dog biscuits at home. They weren't very sweet. O.K. maybe I won't buy those again.

My other goal for the remainder of our time on the island is to learn to sail. Maybe not really learn to sail myself but at least get on a sail boat and have someone show me how it works. Obviously, since we are in the Caribbean, there is a big sailing community here and sail boats docked all around the island. I've never been on a sailboat. It would be a shame not to try it out while I'm here.

So to reach that goal I'm helping my friend Jovanna plan a regatta in March. She's being paid as the event coordinator, and I am volunteering my time to write some press releases and other race correspondence for her. I figure this will get me a trip on a sailboat sooner or later. And it is a fun thing to work on.

Regatta planning has taken the place of the radio show. Pirate Jonny left the island to transition back to America, and I haven't had the desire to really keep the radio show going on my own. The regatta volunteering will be a better project for my skills, I think.

So those are my two new goals for Grenada living. Pretty ambitious, I know. I'm really shooting for the stars down here. Hey, not all of us can become doctors.

Island hot rod

Just in time to save our marriage, we found ourselves a car. If you think picking out wallpaper is hard with your spouse, you should try picking out a used car from a bunch of college students on a tiny island.

In total we looked at eight cars before we found one that we liked. I should say, we found one that C.J. liked. After car number seven tensions were high. I was accusing C.J. of being too picky and he was saying things like "Just buy the car you want. If you want an oil leak and bad tires." Right.

Saturday was the height of our car buying conflict when I set up a time to meet with a person named Jamie to look at their car. I assumed Jamie was a girl. Of course the posting said some bit about "runs fine, gets you around town" yadayada. Jamie turned out to be a guy that I had just seen that week at trivia.

He had told me he was selling his car but that I wouldn't want it because it was a piece of junk. When we met him on Saturday he had a sheepish grin on his face. When I reminded him of his earlier description of the car he said "Yeah, but I'd been drinking."

We got in the car and turned the key, and it died right away. Jamie said "turn the air conditioning on, it helps keep the idle up." Great. Besides that the passenger window didn't roll down and there was an ant infestation under the hood. I tell you, ants are everywhere here, even in a car engine.

So we weren't going to buy that car, and we were tired from looking and I was ready to go back to one of the previous cars we'd seen and make an offer.

But C.J. was persistent. He wanted to look at a 1998 Mitsubishi Lancer on the post that I had completely ignored. It had all these features that we do not need like Tiptronic transmission and a Pioneer stereo and a security system and racing tires. I thought it was silly to even look at a car like that even though it was in the price range.

In the spirit of compromise, I agreed to look at it and the guy was available when I called. He showed up at our house in about 30 minutes. Right away he started talking about this car being really fast and having some awesome high-performing Mivec motor and this Tiptronic thing (clutchless manual shifting) and how he's all into racing cars. And C.J.'s eyes began to glow.

The motor turned out to be really clean, no oil leak, cold A/C, everything worked, new tires. All around really good shape. And about the same price as everyone else was asking for their car. It was the first car where we felt like he could have asked more for it.

So here it is, our new little hot rod. I'm going to be the coolest mom on the island cruising in this thing. Won't a car seat look great in the back?

Obviously by American standards it doesn't look like much but if you saw what we had to sift through to get to this one you'd think it was a jewel.

We'll get it from the current owner just before we leave in the second week of December. Since we don't have a bank account here I have to draw the money out of the ATM machine. There's a limit on how much we can get out in one day so I have to go back to the ATM about eight days in a row to get out all the money. Isn't that annoying?

Anyway, I'm just glad the search is over and that we found a car we both agree is worth the money. Ironically, it will be the nicest and newest car we've ever owned. I've never had a CD player, an alarm system or keyless entry in a car.

Right now it is the one thing C.J. is looking forward to - driving this car around the island. By the way, the highest speed limit on the island is 40 mph. We'll really be able to let 'er rip!

20 weeks

Today marks the beginning of my 20th week of pregnancy, which is the official halfway point. This week the baby is the size of a small cantaloupe, weighs about 10 ounces and is about 6 inches long.

For the baby still being so little, I'm sure starting to look big. Here are some pictures of what 20 weeks of pregnancy is doing to mommy. If this is only halfway, I'm a little nervous.

It's no secret now that I am pregnant. I've gained 12 pounds since leaving the states. This is the most I've ever weighed in my life. I'm officially wearing the maternity pants with the big elastic waist band. I admit, it hurt my pride a bit to switch over but wow are they comfortable. It makes eating a lot easier.

Speaking of eating. If you thought I ate a lot before, you should see me now. I am hungry all the time. And I mean, all..the..time. In the first trimester I was repulsed by a lot of food. I cooked about five meals in the first two months we were here. All I wanted to eat was cereal, popcorn, peanut butter, french fries and frozen fruit bars.

Times have changed. Everything sounds good to me now. I've been cooking up a storm - things I've never cooked before. I look at myrecipes.com like it is Internet porn. Seriously, I have spent hours looking on that site.

I've got all these recipes saved in my favorites. Half of the recipes require an oven which I don't even have. Just last night, right after dinner, I was looking up recipes. C.J. looked over and asked accusingly "are you looking at food on the Internet?" I can't help it, I'm addicted!

The question I get asked the most is "how are you feeling?" I honestly feel pretty good except for some annoying little things like heartburn and minor back ache. I wouldn't say I have that pregnancy glow. If anything I always have a glow of sweat from living in the tropics. And I have a bunch of zits on my face which is really annoying. And of course I just feel fat most of the time.

But otherwise I have lots of energy and feel good mentally. My no-stress schedule affords me plenty of time for rest and relaxation. The actual birthing part still seems far away, so I'm not getting too worked up about the "watermelon through a tiny hole" thing just yet.

For now I'm going to stay focused on eating. Growing baby needs lots of nutrients. I didn't even make it through this blog without a snack. I just had a granola bar.

Rainy day musings

It has been seriously raining for three days now. I mean tropical storm weather where it pours constantly. At this moment it has stopped but the sky is still threatening. Brigit and I did manage to get in a walk earlier without getting completely soaked, only sprinkled on, so that is an improvement from yesterday when it did not let up all day.

Grenadians don't like rain. Which is funny since it rains half the year here. I was doing some apartment hunting and got in touch with a landlord on a rainy day to see if I could look at her property. Her response was "not today because it is raining." So, is it raining inside the apartment?? I mean, that's what umbrella's are for, right? That made me laugh.

I've noticed a slight change in the weather over the past week - it is more windy. I hear these are the trade winds that start blowing around Christmas and signify a cooler season starting - the dry season (as opposed to the wet season). So it's actually been a little more pleasant of late, not so blazing hot.

We did get an apartment. In fact, the one with the landlord that doesn't like rain. We found this place through a classmate of C.J.'s. He and his wife and child live in the building as well as several other couples with children. So this apartment begins our transition into parent land.

Actually it signifies our transition back to adulthood. Just the thought of a door separating our bedroom from the living area makes us both want to jump for joy. And we'll have two bedrooms - two!! And a really big kitchen counter that fits a microwave AND a toaster. And an oven! And a kitchen table with a circumference bigger than a quarter. And a couch to sit on. Oh, it is exciting.

We get the keys on December 1 so we can be all moved in before we leave for the holiday. I spend lots of time now on the SGU Post which as an online site where people list things for sale. All the students leaving this semester are desperately selling off everything they own - hangers, kitchen utensils, towels, books, shelves, binders, electronics, bedding, toys, cars, you name it.

So far I've picked up a whole new bed set for our second bedroom (second bedroom!), a fan, a desk lamp, a stand-up lamp, a toaster, a closet organizer, two more beach towels, an egg crate mattress pad and the game Cranium (oops, impulse buy).

In addition, I think I'll be buying my first baby things soon. I've been in touch with a mom selling a rocking chair, a bouncer and an infant bathtub. And that's just the beginning. Next Saturday there is an actual outdoor sale, like a big garage sale. I'm planning on going although I probably don't need much else at the moment. I mean, we are trying to live with less here after all. But good used stuff is hard to pass up!

We're also in the market for a car. We've looked at four so far. All of the owners say things like "it runs great" and "I haven't had any problems" but all the cars are about 10 to 15 years old with well over 100,000 miles. But they don't really lose their value because we're on an island, so these old cars are going for $4-$6K.

So far every car we've looked at has had an oil leak except for the first car which had a bad transmission. And a CV joint was squeaking on one and some radiator fluid was leaking on another and these are just the problems under the hood. That doesn't include the scratches and dents and missing hub caps and windows that don't work and other little blemishes.

We haven't been impressed with anything we've seen so far, so we're still looking. I should actually say, C.J. has been unimpressed. When I try to say something nice about these poor cars like "that one was pretty clean" he just says "oil leak." So he's kind of tough to shop with. We may have to lower our standards a bit but there is still time. We have a month left and more people will be trying to get rid of their cars as December gets closer.

Speaking of December, it's real hard to get in the mood for holidays when you live on a tropical island. Seasons really do make a difference. And I'm talking about Texas seasons so you know it's got to be bad here. The year round beach weather just throws me off. I can't really accept that it is November.

Grenadians don't celebrate Thanksgiving either so that's not helping. They do go nuts for Christmas though. They are already playing Christmas music. That ought to put me in the mood but it just feels like a joke. I guess it won't feel real until I'm back in the states and can see all the familiar holiday decorations and feel a little winter weather.

Update on C.J.

I think I've been talking about myself a lot lately. How about a little update on C.J.?

It's not much different from the last two months. He is studying. Lots and lots of studying. Right now he is sitting at his desk with his headphones on watching an anatomy lecture on the school's online student resource, which is rather cruelly named Angel.

Who thought of that name? Is that a sick joke? I guess it's supposed to be his saving grace. It feels more like the devil with all those lecture notes and PPT presentations and recorded lectures. C.J.'s selling his soul to it every night, except on the weekend when it frequently doesn't work and then he wants to pull his hair out.

Anyway, he's sitting behind me going over his anatomy. He had anatomy lecture this morning and he has a biochemistry group tomorrow morning. Wednesday was histology lab. Every day is four hours of lecture, although he rarely attends class anymore. Especially since he can watch them at his own pace on Angel. O.K. I guess it is kind of a nice tool sometimes.

There are only three weeks of class left after this one. Then a week of finals. So one month and he is done with term 1. If you ask him how it's going he will tell you he hates it. He really hates studying constantly. A non-stop nagging worry follows him everywhere. No matter how much time he puts in he never feels caught up, there's always someone who knows more in lab, there's always more information to memorize.

Even though he says he hates it, it seems to me that he has learned a lot already about how to deal with the workload. He seems to be studying more effectively than he did in the beginning, and he's been attending some study groups that provide good reviews.

He's also figured out that some of the students who seem to know everything have either already had some of these classes or are using this repository of old tests and quizzes that is officially forbidden by the university. He's been surprised at how openly some students use this "illegal" repository. I think it makes him feel better to know that these people aren't necessarily geniuses (although there are definately wicked smart people here).

The other thing about med school is there are a lot of aggresive type A personalities. It's a very competitive environment with lots of people trying to outdo each other. This is not exactly C.J.'s style. As you can imagine, it wears him out.

Despite all that, I'd say he is getting the hang of it even though I'm sure he would not agree. Last weekend we went to dinner for the first time since he started school (not counting the weekend after midterms). It was a good break for him. We didn't even talk about school once.

He's definitely getting burnt out from the constant studying. It will be nice to have a break at Christmas and get some perspective on the first semester. It will be here before we know it.

Ants

I'm going to attempt here to write a short blog for once, just to give you some relief from the pontificating.

Sometimes when I am sitting at my desk typing I get the feeling an ant is crawling on me. I will think I am being paranoid, but then I will look down and there will actually be a tiny ant crawling on me.

These tiny ants are all over our apartment. Not necessarily in the kitchen but in odd places. Crawling on my desk. Crawling by the front door. On the bathroom towel rack.

So it has become completely normal to pick ants off of myself at any time during the day. They don't seem to be harmful so I haven't really made a big effort to eradicate them. They aren't in our food at least. Funny the things you can get used to.

It's a boy

So, the word is pretty much out now. But for those readers who haven't heard, I am pregnant. I am 17 weeks pregnant, which means I am almost to the halfway point. Due date is April 15.

I already know it is a boy because I had an ultrasound last week while I was in Texas. There is a baby with arms and legs and a face and hands and feet in there. Everything is progressing normally. I'm feeling good. Starting to show.

If you are doing the math, I was pregnant before I left home. This baby's roots are in Austin, TX. If you happened to see me at our going-away party with a beer in each hand, well, let's just focus on the amazing ability of the human body to overcome some environmental forces.

You know how they say it's never a good time. Well I think I'm taking the cake. We're both unemployed and living on government loans. C.J. is busy 12 hours a day studying. We live on a primitive island that lacks cutting-edge American health care. We have no family anywhere near for 2,000 miles. Baby items on this island cost about a million monopoly dollars. And that's just the beginning. But what the hell, let's start a family!

The truth is when I turned 30 I got myself in a panic about my ovaries drying up. Also, the movie Idiocracy disturbed me. It is about intelligent, successful couples waiting and waiting until it is the "right time" to have kids while the young and poor are procreating at a rapid rate so their kids eventually take over the world.

And in the book Galapagos, Kurt Vonnegut warns of humans' big brains being our eventual downfall. Meaning, while I'm waiting for the right time I'm wasting my childbearing years because I am worrying too much about this completely natural thing in life. O.K. I'm proving my point with all this rambling - I've been over thinking it.

So, if you're still following all this, I decided I'm getting old, I've got nothing better to do on this island, I'm tired of waiting for the right time, other people have kids and it works out, and anyway, what if it takes a few months or even years. What if I can't even get pregnant. So after a decade of birth control dependency I threw caution to the wind and was just too busy to stop at the pharmacy in July. And two weeks later....

I thought that missing my period the week before we left was only because we were stressed and packing and selling our house and leaving the country. There was no possible way I could be pregnant. No way. Then another week went by and still nothing. When I finally took a pregnancy test I was in shock.

Of course by then I had actually arrived on the island and realized it wasn't so easy living here and I was home sick and it is so different from America and it occurred to me, hey, this is why people plan having children!! So they don't have to deal with things like - am I going to fly home to have the baby and be away from my husband or deliver without an epidural with a midwife on an obscure island?? How is C.J. going to handle a newborn and an exhausted wife at home while worrying about his second term finals? How should we pay for a third person on school loans???

And that's when I started obsessing about the moment when I was just too busy to stop by the pharmacy. What was I doing??? Idiot! I went to the clinic here to see the doctor and she confirmed I was in fact pregnant. And then she sent me down to St. George's to get an ultrasound. I'll have to describe that experience in further detail at a later time. Let's just say it would make the average American woman book the next flight home.

But we saw the heart beat. In this little tiny blob on this black and white screen, we could see a small dot pulsing. And after that something funny happened. This thing that must happen to all parents, if they planned it or not. The reason why everyone I know with kids is excited for me, despite our less than ideal living situation. That thing is...complete and irrational joy.

And that is how I'm feeling now. Irrationally happy. It makes no sense at all to be excited considering how hard it will be. Even when I read about how labor will mangle my body and an infant will make me deliriously exhausted and the lifetime of responsibility...whatever. Just irrationally happy. Even when I can tell my friends here are thinking "she must be crazy, I would never want to be pregnant on this island." Even when I think of the things I'm giving up that I thought would be so hard. Like alcohol for nine months or exotic vacations for the next few years. Whatever. It's a baby!

So I planned it. I don't want to admit it, but I totally planned this really bad time to have a baby. And it is really exciting, even if it will be harder than it needs to be because of this island.

America the beautiful

My parents called tonight to see how I was doing because they haven't heard a peep from me since I returned from my trip to Texas. They were wondering why I hadn't written on my blog since I've been back.

I have been feeling guilty about letting two weeks pass without a post. But since my return I haven't been in the mood. I think the island living is wearing off on me. I'm in no rush to do much of anything. One activity a day is enough for me. Can't go to the beach AND blog. My goodness! That's just too hectic. But their call has spurred me into action. I can keep this blog thing up and juggle my busy social calendar. I can!

So America was fabulous. Land of the free, home of the brave...country of abundant shopping and eating. After only two months as an ex-pat I was overwhelmed by the retail and food options available in the homeland. Just getting off the plane in Dallas was mind blowing. The airport was so shiny and clean and I could choose from 15 different fast food restaurants. The book store in the Dallas airport literally has more books than on the entire island of Grenada as far as I've seen. And the service. I wanted to hug the cashier at Taco Bell who said with a smile "hi, how can I help you today?" I think he genuinely wanted to help me. It was crazy.

Now I know you're judging me about Taco Bell being my first meal back in America. First, Taco Bell is pretty good all things considered. I mean, if you have been living on a remote island you would think you had died and gone to heaven. So don't hate. Second, I was seeing fast food in a whole new light. It is not the dirty underbelly of American dining anymore but the gloriously abundant and delicious (again, if you have been living on an island) yet completely convenient and affordable food option when one just needs a quick bite to eat. Brilliant!! Just try to live without it. I promise, you'll miss it.

Anyway, when I got off the plane in Dallas I was faced with a serious dilemma. Taco Bell or McDonald's??? So I chose Taco Bell (plenty of burgers in Grenada) and it did not disappoint. The shells were so crispy! Not stale like they had been shipped on a barge across an ocean. And when I arrived in Austin I had me a big cone of Amy's dark chocoloate ice cream. Which is in a league of it's own of course.

And it just continued on like that for the entire trip. So much food! Affordable and delicious and varied food! And the queso. Life may go on without fast food, but Texans, I promise you, life without queso is not easy. I ate queso seven times in the nine days I was home. And I'm still not sick of it.

Enough about food though. Let's get on to the shopping. There are stores in America for everything! You can literally buy anything your heart desires at almost any time. It is incredible. Outlet malls and strip centers around every corner. Again, this is something that could be looked at with disdain - a product of our excessive and materialistic culture. But when you do not have shopping options like this it is really nice. I went shopping just about every day I was home to pick up the odds and ends you can't get in Grenada (or you can't get cheaply) - face wash, contact solution, gel pens, beef jerky, raw almonds, flip flops, movies, books, etc.

For the first few days I was thrilled to be home. I didn't miss Grenada one bit. I barely thought about my life on the island. I barely missed C.J. I was so enamored with the glitz and glamor of America. But after a few days my attitude started to change. After hours of cruising Target and Borders and Marshall's and Walmart I started to realize, I really don't need most of the things for sale.

First, all the clothes are for winter so can't buy any of those. And I can't take that much back with me. And I live in a tiny apartment so it's not like I have room for anything if I could get it back. And oh yeah, I don't have a job so I don't need to be spending any money anyway.

And the eating is totally unrealistic. Eating out adds up and all that queso was making my butt fat. And I just started to realize, all this food and shopping is...just...stuff. I'm living just fine without about 99 percent of the things available in America. I have enough to eat here even if there aren't as many options. I have all the possession I need to get me through the day.

So while I am still enamored with the modern, sophisticated, abundant, friendly and convenient world of America, after a week there I came to terms with living away from it all for awhile. I was only truly sad about separation from dear family and friends. The time I spent with them was precious. And when I drove around Austin I missed living there. It was sad to think it was not my home anymore - it is an original, eclectic, beautiful city. O.K. and the weather was great too. Seasons are cool.

But I am making it just fine in Grenada. Although I went to Texas for a wedding (super fun by the way - congrats to Cory and Jordan!) it was really more like a spiritual journey. Going there was an opportunity to evaluate what has happened in the last few months and where I am now. And when I was away from the island I realized I do have a job here. It is to be a good partner to my husband who is the most important person in my life.

While I was gone C.J. was lonely. A conversation with me is usually the only daily human interaction he has that does not involve some aspect of med school. I provide a distraction for him, an outlet, some friendship and companionship. Maybe he succeeds here not in spite of me but because of me. My purpose here is an important one and after a week I was ready to get back. All that stuff wasn't worth being away from him. And hopefully the friends and family aren't going anywhere.

So I had a great trip. But when I got on the plane to return to the island I didn't hesitate for a second. And when I walked out of the Grenada airport and C.J. was waiting with a smile and a kiss I felt like I was home. I didn't miss a beat. The last week has been full with radio shows and an orphanage visit and walks and dinners and an election-watching party and a day at the beach. I live here now. And although I'm really looking forward to being back at Christmas, I am perfectly content to be away from America for awhile.