America the beautiful

My parents called tonight to see how I was doing because they haven't heard a peep from me since I returned from my trip to Texas. They were wondering why I hadn't written on my blog since I've been back.

I have been feeling guilty about letting two weeks pass without a post. But since my return I haven't been in the mood. I think the island living is wearing off on me. I'm in no rush to do much of anything. One activity a day is enough for me. Can't go to the beach AND blog. My goodness! That's just too hectic. But their call has spurred me into action. I can keep this blog thing up and juggle my busy social calendar. I can!

So America was fabulous. Land of the free, home of the brave...country of abundant shopping and eating. After only two months as an ex-pat I was overwhelmed by the retail and food options available in the homeland. Just getting off the plane in Dallas was mind blowing. The airport was so shiny and clean and I could choose from 15 different fast food restaurants. The book store in the Dallas airport literally has more books than on the entire island of Grenada as far as I've seen. And the service. I wanted to hug the cashier at Taco Bell who said with a smile "hi, how can I help you today?" I think he genuinely wanted to help me. It was crazy.

Now I know you're judging me about Taco Bell being my first meal back in America. First, Taco Bell is pretty good all things considered. I mean, if you have been living on a remote island you would think you had died and gone to heaven. So don't hate. Second, I was seeing fast food in a whole new light. It is not the dirty underbelly of American dining anymore but the gloriously abundant and delicious (again, if you have been living on an island) yet completely convenient and affordable food option when one just needs a quick bite to eat. Brilliant!! Just try to live without it. I promise, you'll miss it.

Anyway, when I got off the plane in Dallas I was faced with a serious dilemma. Taco Bell or McDonald's??? So I chose Taco Bell (plenty of burgers in Grenada) and it did not disappoint. The shells were so crispy! Not stale like they had been shipped on a barge across an ocean. And when I arrived in Austin I had me a big cone of Amy's dark chocoloate ice cream. Which is in a league of it's own of course.

And it just continued on like that for the entire trip. So much food! Affordable and delicious and varied food! And the queso. Life may go on without fast food, but Texans, I promise you, life without queso is not easy. I ate queso seven times in the nine days I was home. And I'm still not sick of it.

Enough about food though. Let's get on to the shopping. There are stores in America for everything! You can literally buy anything your heart desires at almost any time. It is incredible. Outlet malls and strip centers around every corner. Again, this is something that could be looked at with disdain - a product of our excessive and materialistic culture. But when you do not have shopping options like this it is really nice. I went shopping just about every day I was home to pick up the odds and ends you can't get in Grenada (or you can't get cheaply) - face wash, contact solution, gel pens, beef jerky, raw almonds, flip flops, movies, books, etc.

For the first few days I was thrilled to be home. I didn't miss Grenada one bit. I barely thought about my life on the island. I barely missed C.J. I was so enamored with the glitz and glamor of America. But after a few days my attitude started to change. After hours of cruising Target and Borders and Marshall's and Walmart I started to realize, I really don't need most of the things for sale.

First, all the clothes are for winter so can't buy any of those. And I can't take that much back with me. And I live in a tiny apartment so it's not like I have room for anything if I could get it back. And oh yeah, I don't have a job so I don't need to be spending any money anyway.

And the eating is totally unrealistic. Eating out adds up and all that queso was making my butt fat. And I just started to realize, all this food and shopping is...just...stuff. I'm living just fine without about 99 percent of the things available in America. I have enough to eat here even if there aren't as many options. I have all the possession I need to get me through the day.

So while I am still enamored with the modern, sophisticated, abundant, friendly and convenient world of America, after a week there I came to terms with living away from it all for awhile. I was only truly sad about separation from dear family and friends. The time I spent with them was precious. And when I drove around Austin I missed living there. It was sad to think it was not my home anymore - it is an original, eclectic, beautiful city. O.K. and the weather was great too. Seasons are cool.

But I am making it just fine in Grenada. Although I went to Texas for a wedding (super fun by the way - congrats to Cory and Jordan!) it was really more like a spiritual journey. Going there was an opportunity to evaluate what has happened in the last few months and where I am now. And when I was away from the island I realized I do have a job here. It is to be a good partner to my husband who is the most important person in my life.

While I was gone C.J. was lonely. A conversation with me is usually the only daily human interaction he has that does not involve some aspect of med school. I provide a distraction for him, an outlet, some friendship and companionship. Maybe he succeeds here not in spite of me but because of me. My purpose here is an important one and after a week I was ready to get back. All that stuff wasn't worth being away from him. And hopefully the friends and family aren't going anywhere.

So I had a great trip. But when I got on the plane to return to the island I didn't hesitate for a second. And when I walked out of the Grenada airport and C.J. was waiting with a smile and a kiss I felt like I was home. I didn't miss a beat. The last week has been full with radio shows and an orphanage visit and walks and dinners and an election-watching party and a day at the beach. I live here now. And although I'm really looking forward to being back at Christmas, I am perfectly content to be away from America for awhile.